How To Let Go Of An Ex And Move On From A Heart Break

Here Are Tips To Help You Let Go Of Your Ex And Move On From That Heart Break

Are you stuck in a breakup after so many months?

Did your girlfriend or boyfriend leave you disappointed or cheated on you and you had to break up?

Did that relationship end when you wished it would last forever?

                    Unsplash Photos
  

Well, that's life for you, we don't always get everything we want. You need to let go and move on with your life. Sorry to say this but it's over, the relationship is gone. There are over 7 billion people in the world for you to be crying over one person. Learn from that relationship, heal and move on. 

The dating pool is filled with so much disappointment, heart break, cheating and all sorts of breakfast. Yes, breakfast is what Nigerians call breakup or heart break. 

When you hear a Nigerian say "I don chop breakfast or them just give me breakfast" it means they just got dumped, jilted or cheated or that their partner just broke up with them.

So talking about heart breaks and ex boyfriends, ex girlfriends, ex husbands or ex wives is not easy for some people especially those people that wanted the relationship to last forever.

A lot of people have been faced with heartbreaks so strong that it took a while before they got over it. Some people never got over it but got damaged by it. However, there are things you can do to help you heal from a heart break and move on.

Unsplash Photos

I know that it hurts especially after all the effort and expectations. You have tried to bring them back. You pleaded for several months and years but they don't want to come back. 

I know that you can't stop thinking about them. Every romantic relationship stories or scene you see reminds you of the good times you both shared. 

Do not place yourself in a bondage like this. You shouldn't be yearning and begging someone to love you and stick with you when they have clearly shown that they do not want you. Remember that one sided love hurts so bad.

Need your work to be transcribed into different foreign languages? Click here

How To Let Go Of An Ex And Move On From A Heart Break 

1. Allow yourself to feel the pain of losing them

The pain of heartbreak should not be stored or ignored if not it will hunt you forever. When you try to fight the feeling of grief, it will linger in its ugly head over and over again. 

Feel the loss, feel the pain. Express it as it begs to be expressed. If it depends you crying, please cry. Scream and kick if you must. It's been proven that the pain of heartbreak can be the same as mourning the death of a loved one.

So do not pretend it doesn't hurt, embrace the pain and express your grieve.

Unsplash Photos

 2. Forgive them and do not seek revenge

Heartbreak and getting dumped in a relationship can make someone feel resentment and hate for their ex partner. Sometimes you may wish that they could feel the pain you are feeling. 

Some seek out ways to take revenge so that their ex will pay for leaving. This is petty and will only leave you damaged. Free them from your mind and do not hate. Not easy but it is possible and it will help you.

Unsplash Photos

When you forgive your ex you will not carry the baggage of heartbreak into a new relationship. Not forgiving your ex will also make you feel so insecure, vengeful and easily triggered in a new relationship. So you have to forgive to move on.

3. Give them distance

Unsplash Photos

Sometimes the best way to forget someone and things that surround them is to keep a good distance from them. If you keep seeing your ex and it makes you feel the pain over and over again, you should stop seeing them either directly or indirectly.

Here are ways to keep a distance from your ex:

• Change your address

You don't have to move out of the city but you may change your address if you both live on the same street. This will help you get them out of your mind.

• Stop hanging out at spots where you will see them 

You shouldn't go to that  bar or gym where you know that your ex usually hangs out. The more you see them, the more they get into your mind.

• Mute, block or unfriend them on social media

You should mute their post, unfriend them or block them only when seeing them gets you angry or suggests revenge in your mind. You must block them if they are threatening to harm you after you have reported them to the police.

After the feeling of anger and revenge is gone, you may undo your action and add them back. This shows that you have healed a lot.

4. Get yourself so busy that you don't have time for too much thinking

That's right, a busy person forgets people's drama. They are all about how to solve the task ahead of them. Not that the thoughts of the heartbreak and your ex will completely disappear but the point is that it will not overshadow your mind. That's healthy and good. 

Like for me, I became so busy with my remote self assigned job that I barely think about the heartbreak I was experiencing at the time. My mind was mostly occupied with how to get my tasks done. It was not as if the thoughts of my ex didn't creep in, but it didn't stay longer than a few minutes. 

 Here are some of the things you can do to get you busy:

• Get a job
• Learn a new skill
• Do community service
• Clean the house and assists your workers with their tasks 
• Go to the gym for workout
• Coach and teach others your skills, etc

Unsplash Photos

5. Do more of things that makes you happy

What are those things that when you do them they get you in a frenzy mood? Go out there and have fun, go for that vacation, visit your family and friends or go out to your favorite spot and eat that treat you always want to. 

Dance, feel happy and please do not listen to sad music, it will worsen your mood. Stay away from anything that will make you sad. If you have the money, try that thing you've always wanted to try.  

Have so much fun so that you will forget about your pain and release dopamine in your body. 

6. Do not overly blame yourself

You may have made some mistakes in the relationship but that was not totally why they left or treated you the way they did. There's no formula for a perfect relationship. You might have been the sweetest person but it didn't work out, so blaming yourself will only make you unhappy.

Some people didn't even try as much as you did in that relationship but their relationship is working fine. Breathe and know that you did your best but it wasn't enough for your ex.

 If cheating was the problem, please know that it was not because you were not as beautiful or good looking. It was just your ex being an explorer and that's all. 

Check out what to do to someone that cheated on you and is not showing remorse.

Having said this, do not neglect your mistakes and flaws. Try to work on them and improve yourself. No one is perfect, we learn everyday.

7. Open your heart to love again

Yes, one failed relationship isn't the end of dating and marriage. You shouldn't go with the "men are scum" and "fear women" gang simply because your partner hurt you or because you had a bad breakup. 

Remember, the world has over 7 billion people. There are good people out there willing to love you and treat you like the king or queen that you are. 

Unsplash Photos

8. Get a daily mantra

Sometimes your mind just needs some reassurance. You may find yourself going back and forth in a relationship heartbreak. Today you are fine and feel like you are over the breakup then tomorrow you are crying and cursing all over again.

It is normal to go back there and experience grief. The reason is because you shared a lot together so you will see things that remind you about them and your heartbreak.

Getting a mantra or an affirmative statement can help calm you down. You can write something like.

 " I and John are no longer dating and that is okay. I will move on and I will be happy without him."

"Jessica left me and got married to Ray. That is just part of life. Some things end in a way we never want it to end. I wish her well."

"It's just a breakup and I will be fine."

Use your own words but be positive about it. Write them where you can see them always.  Each time you find yourself going back and feeling all angry and sad, remember those positive words. Say them out and believe them. It will redirect your mind into a good balance.

9. If you are finding it hard to move on after a year please see a specialist for counseling and advice. 

Heartbreak can damage someone if it gets out of hand. If you have tried moving on but you keep finding yourself hurting and getting into depression, you should see a relationship expert or a psychologist. 

Click to listen to the podcast of this post on anchor and Spotify

Listen to my podcast on radiopublic

Thank you for reading my post. I will like you to comment and ask questions about anything related. I am available to interact with you here. Thank you.

Click to Follow me up on Facebook

The 2023/2024 Chevening Scholarship application is now open. Apply for a fully funded scholarship for your masters degree in the UK.